[Bad End/Good End Crossover] Words keep tightening the cord around my neck

[pressurecooker]

[There's too much noise.

That's the first thing Hero realizes when he wakes up. It's never this loud when he drifts back into consciousness. His family knows better than to enter his room. Even Kel has stopped trying.

Kel's probably still furious at him, really. He'd have every right to be. So... why can he hear his snoring? And even more breathing, quiet mumbling, a 30 second piece of music playing on repeat...

He opens his eyes. He's on a couch. His friends are curled up on the floor in front of the flickering TV, showing the DVD menu for some cartoon. Kel is sprawled out like a starfish despite Aubrey's knee in his gut. Next to them is a tuft of blonde hair... and he remembers how Basil would wrap himself up in a cocoon every time he slept over, running just a little colder than everyone else and needing to hide himself away until his metamorphosis next morning.

It can't be... but he sees the lump next to him, curled up in a ball like a little cat, looking so peaceful and gentle with a soft smile on his face.

His face is still intact. He remembers cradling the pieces of his skull, but here, he's unbroken.

He's going to be sick. He presses himself into the back of the couch, inching himself as far away from the others as he can. He tries to slow his breathing as he pinches himself, over and over, and scrubs his eyes, hoping the illusions fade.

He needs... to take his mind off it. Work on something. He never does any work lately. He slides off of the couch and pads into the kitchen, turning the hot water handle all the way to one side and leaving the cold handle untouched. He loads the dishes into the sink, squeezes dish soap over them in a lazy spiral, and then starts scrubbing, ignoring the way his hands scald in the water, and the way the plates clack together from his trembling.]

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[lastencore]

[It takes a few minutes.

Of course, he notices immediately that Hero is missing. But, at first, he assumes he's just making a bathroom run. Then, when he hears the sink, the assumption shifts to getting a drink of water. It isn't until Sunny hears the dishes clinking together that he realizes what Hero is actually up to.

That's...a bit strange but not totally out of the ordinary. What the rest of them just thought could wait until morning, a dutiful person like Hero might find irksome. Like something that nags at the back of the brain. Thinking of it that way, Sunny starts to feel a little guilty. Uncurling and rising to his feet, he heads over to the kitchen door and peeks in.]

Hero, do you need any help?

[When no answer arrives, he starts to get nervous.]

...Hero?

[Hero's never given him the silent treatment before. Sunny is starting to feel deeply uneasy, getting the sense that something is a lot more wrong than the lot of them leaving dishes out. When he still doesn't get an answer, he quietly pads his way across the kitchen until he can reach out and tug on his dear friend's sleeve.]

Hey, are you feeling alright?

[pressurecooker]

[It always takes a while for the illusions to fade. Hero knows that. In the year without Mari, she would still linger, around corners, in the doorway... outside his window if things were particularly bad. Now that Sunny's gone with her, they take longer. They stay firmly in his vision, refusing to not be perceived.

But with all of that... they've never touched him. He's blocked out their words as much as he can, but every time they've tried to hold him, it's broken the illusion for him. Ghosts can't be solid. They can mimic touch, but not actually activate the nerves that pick up the sensation. It's just not possible.

So why has the fabric of his shirt gone taut around his wrist?

The dishes clatter again as Hero lifts his hands out of the water. He slowly turns a horrified look towards Sunny, who's still clutching the sleeve. He tugs it forcefully out of his grip, only to grab onto Sunny's hands.

They're cold, a little dry, and bony like he remembers them... but he can feel them. His eyes start to prick.]

Wh-What... Sunny? Is that really you?

[lastencore]

[He doesn't know how to answer that question.

He doesn't have an answer for anything that's happening right now, and it's kind of scary. Why was Hero grabbing him like he might disappear if he's let go? Hands that he knew to be warm and gentle usually were suddenly clinging on with a desperation he'd never seen before--and those hands...]

Hero, your hands are burning up!

[Wasn't it too hot? Painfully so?

Sunny looks up at his friend with a searching, helpless expression. He doesn't know what to do for his 'brother'. He needs to figure it out, do something. Say something.]

Of--Of course it's me.

[pressurecooker]

[His hands aren't just burning up. They're shaking, and clutching Sunny's hands almost painfully. He can feel his tears starting to overflow, and he can't stop himself from flinging those trembling arms around the smaller boy.

This feels so good. Even if he knows something must be horribly wrong with him if he's hallucinating this badly...]

Why... why can I hold you?

[lastencore]

[Glimpsing those tears just before he finds himself in one of the tightest hugs he'd ever received, Sunny reaches up to reciprocate--clinging on uncertainly. It's not as if he's a total stranger to being the one giving comfort, it's just that he has no idea what he could be comforting Hero for right now. It almost sounds as if he doesn't believe Sunny is real.]


I-Is there a reason you wouldn't be able to? Did something happen?

[He's so confused right now.]

[pressurecooker]

[Hero puts a hand on Sunny's cheek, pulling back to look at him. The smile he gives is... pained and miserable and very wrong.]

Of course I couldn't before. You're a ghost. Something I... made up. So I don't have to deal with you being gone.

[lastencore]

[Oh. Oh, he doesn't like that. It sounds far too much like how he was back in those horrible four years. Like when he could hardly tell reality apart from his dreams. But why would Hero be in such a state? Why would he say Sunny was 'gone' like....]

Hero, I'm not a ghost. I promise.

[He reaches up and covers Hero's hand with his own.]

I'm real, see? I didn't go anywhere.

[Of course they moved, but he comes back often to visit, like now. It's nothing that should have caused Hero to be hallucinating.]

[pressurecooker]

But you... you did.

[He swallows hard. It practically causes him pain, but he eventually pulls his hand out of Sunny's grip.]

We all saw you fall... I don't know if it was the roof or the window, but we all saw you. I-I ran, but I wasn't fast enough. When I got outside, you were on the ground... all broken into pieces.

I couldn't stop the bleeding. The bones were jutting out and I, I knew that meant the shock meant you were already gone but I kept trying, and it wasn't enough, it was never going to be enough...

[His hands are starting to tremble, and he takes a step away from Sunny. Looking at him now, he can't... see him whole anymore. Half of him is missing, obscured by blood and viscera, and he covers his face, resisting the urge to vomit.]

[lastencore]

[Sunny's eyes widen, and even without Hero's graphic description, he feels sick. How would Hero know about what he'd been thinking about doing back then? Worse, why was he talking about it as if Sunny had gone through with it?

With such detail...it. It felt too real.]

That... That didn't happen.

[He reaches out, grabbing Hero's arms, practically clawing into them. His voice is almost frantic.]

Hero, that didn't happen! I'm alive, alright?! I'm right here and I'm alive!

[He's nearly yelling by the end, no way at this point he hasn't caught the attention of the others.]

[pressurecooker]

[That hurts. Nails dig into his skin and he hisses in pain, but it almost feels like a relief. If he feels that... if this was a dream, he would have woken up by now. Sunny's still in front of him, and he seems... okay. He seems to be telling the truth.

As the others wake up and stumble into the kitchen in their shock, they'll find Hero holding Sunny tightly in his arms. Once again, he's pulled the younger boy close, trying to speak through his tears.]

You really are... you're alive, you're alive, you aren't... you won't leave us, right?

[lastencore]

[He shakes his head, tearing up himself and clinging onto Hero.]

No, I--I swear I only thought about that. How did you...why did you know? Even if you know, I would never--It wouldn't be fair to Mari...she'd be so mad.

[persistencepays]

[As Kel looks in on the confusing scene, he frowns. Something was definitely very wrong right now; especially with Hero. Somehow the same brother they'd been joking around with only hours before looked an absolute wreck right now. His hands were overly red and...he could barely hold it together. It was just like back when Mari died.

And he didn't like that one bit.

On top of that, Sunny was upset as hell.]

Uhh...guys? What happened?

[pressurecooker]

[...He's not quite sure why, but seeing Kel looking at him so worried gives him pause. Maybe it's just because it's been a long time since Kel had bothered to worry about him. Maybe it's because he knows he doesn't deserve it. But... even with Sunny starting to get emotional, Hero finds himself unable to explain.

It's better if he just waves this off. Pretend he's just like everyone else... Pretend he isn't the only one who's broken.

He smooths Sunny's hair back and gives Kel a soft smile.]

Sorry, everyone. I just... had a nightmare. Sunny caught me at the tail end of it and I probably said something that freaked him out. It's all okay now.

[persistencepays]

...A nightmare? Is that really all?

[The air in the room felt emotionally raw somehow. It seemed like an awful lot for just a nightmare.]

[lastencore]

[Sunny's fingers dig into the fabric of Hero's shirt, knowing it's a lie. There's no way Hero could have known what he'd considered doing back then. And for it to effect him so deeply, so suddenly...it took much longer for a dream to take root like that. Sunny knew from experience.

But, there was no other reasonable explanation. Nothing else to explain why Hero would suddenly say such things and act like that. So, Sunny wants it to be true. That it was all just a nightmare. More than anything, he wants to believe that.

So, he doubles down on the story.]

Just...a bad nightmare. It's fine.

[pressurecooker]

[...This was fine. Sunny looks a bit distressed, but Hero knows he'll be fine, as long as they get to talk alone later. That's not going to happen if Kel interferes. Besides... it's better for him to be oblivious. Hero certainly doesn't deserve his worry after everything.

Even if he technically hasn't done anything wrong here. It's confusing... maybe what happened to Sunny was a terrible dream.

Or maybe this was the dream itself. His grip tightens on Sunny momentarily.]

Sorry to wake you, Kel, Sunny. You know how it is... when I upset myself, I just like to keep myself busy. Thought I'd clean up the dishes. But it's probably better if I try to rest.